Married to Jesus?

I was a teen the first time someone described something as being "romantic" in my hearing. Perhaps it was a wild, Australian landscape they were talking about, or someone's perfectly rose-colored ideology. I don't recall what it was, I just remember how it struck at something in my heart when I realized that "romantic" is more than a genre, gesture, or description belonging solely to two people falling in love.

As a natural result, the discovery of romance, along with the concept of beauty, absolutely fascinated me. My heart was totally enveloped. I began to see romance laced into the structure of my hands, and the essence of love in every blade of grass. My eyes had opened to something so deep, so life-giving, and so personal: romance. I remember a boy I met when I was 20. I thought he was my new crush. But I wasn't so enamored by him as I was by his way of perceiving the world around him. His heart was tender and poetic. And everything he touched turned to art. I was so inspired, that I began to notice my own heart soften and lean into vulnerability in ways I had always protected myself from.

Let's be clear - not toward the boy... that crush lasted about a week max. I was now falling in love with the whole concept of romance, or, the designer of Romance - God Himself.

In January 2014, I attempted to express the bliss with a roughly stitched up poem:

I'm on a romantic journey and I'm learning the way of love;

In every blade of grass, every leaf, every bird's song.

Love is my teacher

And love is my coach,

Driving me throughout the earth,

A planet that bursts with the brilliance of romance.

I'm learning love and romance go hand in hand,

Similar to the way lovers walk.

You cannot have one without the other, and it is not merely an emotion saved up for the one I marry,

though that will be a great expression of the world that consumes me from within.

And a reflection of perfection

At the great marriage banquet.

I would lay on the grass in the backyard of my family home, shut my eyes and hear the symphony of creation: the crickets chirping in the baked earth as the sunset began, the birds singing their springtime sonnets as they informed the world it was soon bed time, the breeze through the vibrant green leaves, caressing my face, and the sound of humanity echoing from the neighbor's homes. The longer I absorbed it, the more I could hear, see, experience. My heart was absolutely captivated and captured by the love of God in every strand of DNA in existence. My awareness that eternity knew me by name, and I had such a purpose as to experience intimacy with Him was intoxicating, and satisfied my soul.

Today, we think ourselves so intelligent as we refer back to the Greeks, who isolated love into 4 main expressions (6 in total): Storgi, Philia, Eros, Agape. We segregate our understanding of love into these categories in order to understand it, and appropriate it to each relationship we have. And while they are insightful looks at the behaviors of love... I'm afraid we miss the depths when we attempt to section God into either of the four facets. To learn the way of love, we must open ourselves up to the higher reality of Love Himself (God). And then, we must appropriate THAT love into our marriage, parenting, and friendships.

So, what's all this "married to Jesus" jargon we talk about at women's conferences, and with our single friends? I would suggest that using sentences like this without any proper, scriptural, theological explanation can be dangerous. Women are confused at how Jesus could love them like a husband, because they are trying to squeeze Jesus, son of God, into a man-made expectation of a husband's role. But we've got it the wrong way around! The ultimate husband IS JESUS, and human marriage is merely a reflection of that! This is why marriage is the holiest of sacraments in Christianity.

So we need to get that locked in first.

The church is the bride, and he is the bridegroom. It is beyond human description, metaphysics fail to fully embrace the enormity of our belonging to Christ as the beloved. The closest thing we have is the model of marriage, and yet, what Jesus offers us is so much more. Anyone who has a relationship with Jesus will celebrate the fruits of abiding in his love: freedom from fear, acceptance, purpose, identity, connection, creativity... you know what I'm talking about.

Is love a choice? Or a person living within you, who has transformed you into His likeness?

What does romance do to the heart? It is inspiring dreams and creativity, it is comforting and safe, it is beautifying as your face relaxes in the knowing that you are loved...

All these things and much more are experienced in the love of Jesus. When we speak of being "romanced by Jesus" it is beyond inter-human experience or Greek philosophical reasoning. It is a superior reality of the spiritual realm, which transcends into our soul and body. I encourage you today to ask Jesus to open your eyes to His way of romancing your heart.

What does it mean to be married? My simplified answer is this: to become one. When two people, or two things are "married together", they are joined as one. This is exactly what the gospel is all about - God's desire to redeem us by becoming ONE with us! Don't look at this merely through human eyes and human experience of marriage. It is so. Much. More. One view of the gospel is a hopeful romantic, wildly pursuing the one he loves. And even at the cost of his own life, rescuing her from the rot of sin that she was not created for.

Jesus has given himself completely to you. He has given you his whole heart.

That was His desire and choice.

But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. - 1 Corinthians 6:17

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. - Ephesians 5:25-27 So here's my basic conclusion: when we talk about being married to Jesus, it's an invitation to undo our limited understanding of love, and lean into the eternal one. The whole bible is the back story to one big wedding feast. But not exactly a wedding feast as we know it. For a start, the bride is actually billions of men and women. The blessings of marriage are our reminder of the gospel. The love of Jesus the bridegroom has all the nutrition for your spirit, soul, and body. And then, you get to pour that love to your husband, family, and friends.

For a poetic, heartfelt and inspirational deep-dive into the love of Jesus, I encourage you to watch this sermon. It absolutely gripped our hearts as my husband and I watched it.

Sending my love to you all, from my living room to yours! xx M